The Bitter and the Sweet...

As I sit here this morning I am feeling a sense of peace, for my fight is finally over. I am FREE!

Not one to be a victim, but let's face it, I have survived vicious attacks by the Devil himself, my now ex-husband, insincere friends, but perhaps most painful is the betrayal by a family member. Ouch ~ that one still stings a little.

I am reflecting on the events that led me to this place, and ask myself; where to go from here? One thing I know is that there is no where to go but UP cause baby I have been all the way to hell and back twice!

My sense of humor is coming back because I feel like breaking into song ~ Sir Elton John's "I'm Still Standing--Better than I ever was!" comes to mind.

I have thought long and hard about the lessons I have learned on this long and arduous journey. One the of the most inspirational quotes that comes to mind is from the late, great Ms. Lean Horne. She said it best, "It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it."

Yes, I have hurt, I have cried many a tear. My heart has been broken. At the end of all of this, what can I take away that will not leave me powerless, rather POWERFUL? How can I turn my pain into a way to truly inspire others?

I am afraid I do not have the answer yet. But I do know that I have carried my load with dignity and with grace. Maybe, that is all I can give right now. But I am finally free and with that freedom comes a sense of peace like no other.

I am learning to forgive myself ~ not an easy feat. Baby steps. One door has closed, the Bitter. The upside? Another door is opening, the Sweet.

When life knocks you down, as it surely will; first get on your knees and ask God for strength. Then get up and thank him for that strength! Sometimes, at my lowest point, I prayed for strength to make it through just one more day. Many times I could not see it or touch it, but now I realize why ~ He was literally carrying me through my darkest hours. God was my strength!

I humbly give thanks everyday because with each breath, I grow stronger. I have more confidence and some have said that there is an inner glow about me. Maybe I am beginning the healing process.

I have let go of the past and my need to control everything. I have surrendered to what God has planned for me. My focus has become finding my center/inner balance.

I will share this with you and sincerely hope it will help and spare you some of the pain I have endured: Happiness really does come from within and it IS a choice. Sometimes you must lose it all to just find out who you are and what you are truly made of. The financial loss will come back ten fold ~ you MUST BELIEVE!

I no longer look back, I look ahead to all of the blessings that are coming. Some are already here, I must just be still to recognize them.

Life is a pill. It is both Bitter and Sweet. I recommend a big glass of water to swallow. Just My Two Cents...