Dear CJ and Reilly

I dedicate today's Blog to my beautiful children ~ they are my inspiration and without them; I would be nothing.

Every pain I have suffered, tear I have shed, obstacle I have overcome, and heartbreak I have endured; has made me a stronger, wiser, more loving and courageous woman, and mother than I ever thought I could be!

That being said, remember that a smile is a window on your face to show that your heart is at home. I smile at my children because my heart is always at home when I see their beautiful faces.

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success. I encourage my children because their potential to succeed in this world is immeasurable. I love them unconditionally because they are truly my gifts from God!

CJ and Reilly, my old souls; your Mommy loves you more than life. Please know that I will be here for you always, to help pick you up when you fall down, to teach you the lessons I have learned, to soothe your broken hearts, and to help keep you on the path that God has chosen for you.

My darlings, I love you even when you drive me nuts, and when I fuss at you.

You two are the loves of my life and have taught me so much! You will both be stronger, more courageous, wiser and compassionate souls than I could ever be. So
dare to dream BIG, and never be afraid to risk.

I carried you both in my womb and loved you long before ever even meeting you. You two inspire me each and everyday! I will protect you with every fiber of my being. Even when I leave this earth, which will not be for a very long time,(SMILE) I will still be with you. My legacy will live on through the two of you.

Mommy fought some tough battles but came out victorious because I needed to teach you what it really means to be strong and courageous even when all seemed lost. So my precious babies, Always keep your hands firmly planted in God's hands. NEVER give up hope, and remain committed to your beliefs.

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness, but remember my loves, it will come back to you. Be humble, thankful, and carry yourselves with dignity and grace even during life's most difficult storms.

Dear CJ and Reilly, God Bless you both! KNOW that your Mama LOVES you and I THANK YOU for making me a better person!! Just My Two Cents

The Bitter and the Sweet...

As I sit here this morning I am feeling a sense of peace, for my fight is finally over. I am FREE!

Not one to be a victim, but let's face it, I have survived vicious attacks by the Devil himself, my now ex-husband, insincere friends, but perhaps most painful is the betrayal by a family member. Ouch ~ that one still stings a little.

I am reflecting on the events that led me to this place, and ask myself; where to go from here? One thing I know is that there is no where to go but UP cause baby I have been all the way to hell and back twice!

My sense of humor is coming back because I feel like breaking into song ~ Sir Elton John's "I'm Still Standing--Better than I ever was!" comes to mind.

I have thought long and hard about the lessons I have learned on this long and arduous journey. One the of the most inspirational quotes that comes to mind is from the late, great Ms. Lean Horne. She said it best, "It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it."

Yes, I have hurt, I have cried many a tear. My heart has been broken. At the end of all of this, what can I take away that will not leave me powerless, rather POWERFUL? How can I turn my pain into a way to truly inspire others?

I am afraid I do not have the answer yet. But I do know that I have carried my load with dignity and with grace. Maybe, that is all I can give right now. But I am finally free and with that freedom comes a sense of peace like no other.

I am learning to forgive myself ~ not an easy feat. Baby steps. One door has closed, the Bitter. The upside? Another door is opening, the Sweet.

When life knocks you down, as it surely will; first get on your knees and ask God for strength. Then get up and thank him for that strength! Sometimes, at my lowest point, I prayed for strength to make it through just one more day. Many times I could not see it or touch it, but now I realize why ~ He was literally carrying me through my darkest hours. God was my strength!

I humbly give thanks everyday because with each breath, I grow stronger. I have more confidence and some have said that there is an inner glow about me. Maybe I am beginning the healing process.

I have let go of the past and my need to control everything. I have surrendered to what God has planned for me. My focus has become finding my center/inner balance.

I will share this with you and sincerely hope it will help and spare you some of the pain I have endured: Happiness really does come from within and it IS a choice. Sometimes you must lose it all to just find out who you are and what you are truly made of. The financial loss will come back ten fold ~ you MUST BELIEVE!

I no longer look back, I look ahead to all of the blessings that are coming. Some are already here, I must just be still to recognize them.

Life is a pill. It is both Bitter and Sweet. I recommend a big glass of water to swallow. Just My Two Cents...

Can you really find Balance in your life and be Happy? - Bloggers Talks

Can you really find Balance in your life and be Happy? - Bloggers Talks

Finding Balance...

Wow, I found this fantastic article about finding balance in your faith and doing what you love. The irony is that the story is about a 7 year old girl!

As a mom, I, like most find we must work very hard, be rather creative at times while remaining highly organized in an effort to strike balance in our very busy lives.

Raising children to be strong, kind, loving and successful human-beings, doing what you love, carving out time for you and being committed to your faith, well let's face it; that IS a lot to juggle. Imagine doing that by yourself. Whew!

This story touched me so much because it demonstrates how much God does indeed work in mysterious ways. Can you imagine, learning a lesson about life from such a young child?! He speaks to us in some many ways!

Sit back and enjoy this heart-warming story, I sure did. No matter what religion you practice, this precious little girl IS an inspiration to us all! God Bless! Just My Two Cents...



NJ gymnast, 7, balances religious faith and sports
Associated Press/AP Online



By SAMANTHA HENRY

NEWARK, N.J. - When 7-year-old Amalya Knapp took the beam at the New Jersey state gymnastics finals last month, her excellent performance symbolized a far more complicated balancing act.

Although she would have ranked fifth in her age group, eligible for a medal, her individual scores were discounted. She was unable to compete on a Saturday because of her Orthodox Jewish family's observance of the Sabbath.

"I was upset," Amalya said, "but my mother told me there are decisions you have to make."

USA Gymnastics made an effort to accommodate her and let her compete the next day, Sunday, Feb. 13, and permitted her scores to factor into her team's overall rankings.

But the national governing body held that because she hadn't competed at the same time as girls of her skill level and age group, her scores: 9.7 on vault, 9.575 floor, 9.5 beam and 8.75 bars - would not count toward individual medals or rankings.

The news disappointed the second-grader, a member of the US Gym team of the United States Gymnastics Development Center in Leonia, N.J. She had placed first in the all-around category in five previous competitions.

"She tried so hard, and practiced for months, and really put in her all, but just couldn't get that final award for her efforts," said Chavie Knapp, Amalya's mother. Knapp emphasized that her family appreciated USA Gymnastics' efforts to discuss the issue with them and try to reach a compromise.

"I wasn't bitter, and wasn't angry and worked with the organization and tried to work within the system," Knapp said.

Knapp said she and her husband encourage Amalya to engage in the sports and activities she loves, including ice skating lessons and playing for a Jewish youth soccer league that never practices or competes on Saturdays. Amalya said she wants one day to be an Olympic gymnast.

If she had to choose again between competing or observing the Sabbath, she said, "I would do the religion things."

She isn't the only young athlete faced with reconciling her passion for sports with religious obligation. Experts say the issue arises in all faiths, in nearly every sport, and at all levels of competition.

Last month, a standout Iowa high school wrestler, Joel Northrup, refused to compete against a girl at a state tournament, citing his Pentecostal religious beliefs against contact sports between men and women. His position caused him to relinquish any championship hopes.

One of the most memorable instances of an athlete embracing religion over team duty was the refusal of Hall of Fame pitcher Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Dodgers to pitch the opening game of the 1965 World Series. Koufax was observing Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and atonement considered the holiest date of the Jewish calendar.

It was Koufax's story that Amalya's parents chose to explain to her that the Sabbath - for which observant Jews abstain from working from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday - would always take precedence over the sport she loves.

"My father told me stories of people who had to do this, and I felt better," Amalya said.

Chavie Knapp said Amalya, who attends school at the Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North Jersey, was disappointed to miss her first state finals competition in a sport she had loved since she was a toddler. She practices up to 12 hours a week and dreams of competing in the Olympics one day.

"We had to try to help her understand how we really feel strongly that she can be a great gymnast and still be a committed Orthodox Jew," Knapp said. "We want her to be able to combine the love that she has for both of those things into an appreciation for both, and not a resentment of either."

A spokeswoman for USA Gymnastics, Leslie King, said the organization does its best to reasonably provide alternatives to athletes who face scheduling conflicts for religious or other reasons, when possible.

"USA Gymnastics is sensitive to these issues and will continue in its efforts to provide reasonable options to athletes under appropriate circumstances," King said in an e-mail message.

Assemblyman Gary Schaer, D-Passaic, the only Orthodox Jewish member of New Jersey's Legislature, wrote USA Gymnastics, saying its policies don't go far enough to accommodate athletes from all religious and racial backgrounds.

"I am sure you would agree about the critical importance in a child's life of both religious observance and athletic competition and that one should not come at the detriment of the other," he wrote.

Chavie Knapp said news coverage of her daughter's situation, first reported in The Record newspaper of Woodland Park, N.J., had put the family at the center of a heated debate over whether religious exemptions have a place in sports.

"This issue has really been pushing a lot of buttons for people," Knapp said. She's received an outpouring of mostly supportive comments, she said.

But there have been plenty of detractors.

"I had the other side, of people very angry, saying: why should I be accommodated when there's so many different religions and so many different issues that people have that come up, and why did I sign up for something knowing that I wouldn't be able to go to some of the events?" She said.

Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner of Wyncote, Pa., who competed for Arizona State University in the 1960s and held a national title in archery, is a Conservative Jew who observes the Sabbath.

College-level competition is rare for a Sabbath-observant Jew, Lerner said.

"In a nutshell, you can participate in sports, you can enjoy it, you can excel, but the way the world runs, you're not going to be in any competitions," he said. "You can't be in any sport that has competitions on the Sabbath, and not just games, but also workouts and practices on the Sabbath or holidays; that means you're not eligible for a football scholarship," Lerner said, adding with a laugh: "Well, go learn the oboe."

Lerner said he encourages young observant Jews to engage in sports for the training and self-discipline it teaches, but knowing that they may not reach competition levels. He teaches sports and other activities at Jewish summer camps, where children play games on Saturday, but scores aren't kept, to observe Sabbath rules against competing.

The rabbi said it's rare to find Orthodox Jews or strict Sabbath observers among top Jewish athletes, including Israel's professional and Olympic athletes.

Jeffrey S. Gurock, a professor at New York's Yeshiva University and author of the book Judaism's Encounter with American Sports, said Orthodox Jewish athletes or religiously observant athletes of other faiths can only reach a certain competitive level before running into conflicts.

"Can you be fully observant Jew and compete, and also observe the Sabbath? The answer is no," Gurock said. "America is making it easier, but in the end, if you're an Orthodox Jew, your religion will trump the sport, and if you want to be fully observant, you're only going to rise so far unless you can devote 365 days to your sport."

He said the sports world had increasingly recognized, and embraced, America's diversity and pluralism compared to decades past.

"It's still a difficult issue, and if you're going to be a top-flight athlete, you have to make a choice," Gurock said. "They're not going to postpone Wimbledon."

Other major sporting events have been postponed, however, for religious considerations, Gurock said. It's the reason major sporting events are rarely broadcast on Christmas Eve or that ESPN and Major League Baseball agreed, after complaints from die-hard Jewish baseball fans, to switch the starting time of a Yankees-Red Sox game on Sept. 27, 2009, so it wouldn't conflict with the beginning of Yom Kippur.

"Sports is the metaphor, but the real story is how do you live and integrate into American culture and maintain your own tradition," Gurock said. "It's a Jewish story, a Muslim story, a Mormon story."

A service of YellowBrix, Inc. .

The World we live in...

Man pleads guilty to duping moms into abusing kids
Associated Press/AP Online
I stumbled across this article today and just had to share. It is so unbelievable and sad. What kind of world do we live in? Just My Two Cents...


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Man pleads guilty to duping moms into abusing kids

By JEFF KAROUB

DETROIT - In real life, Steven Demink didn't have children, a college degree or a lasting career. Online, prosecutors say, he presented himself as Dalton St. Clair, an attractive single father and psychologist - a fantasy image authorities say the Michigan man used to persuade mothers across the country to commit unspeakable acts on their children.

Demink, 41, of Redford Township, preyed on single mothers for more than a year, prosecutors say, convincing them to sexually assault their children as a form of therapy. After pleading guilty Monday to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children, Demink faces 15 years to life in prison when he is sentenced in June.

Demink's alter-ego was a single father of a 14-year-old girl, prosecutors said, and he posted pictures of male models as his headshots. In some cases, court documents say, Demink promised the women a date if they followed through with his directions.

Since authorities arrested him in October, seven children were rescued and at least three mothers have been arrested. Prosecutors say all of the children are now safe.

Authorities say Demink chatted with mothers from New Hampshire, Florida, Idaho and elsewhere, persuading them to engage in sexual acts with their children and send images via e-mail or through a live web stream. The children ranged in age from 3 to 15.

Demink told U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen that before his arrest, he worked as a car salesman for about six months and before that for about five years at a local bank. He said he completed a U.S. Customs and Border Protection training program in 2002 and worked for the Immigration and Naturalization Service for about a year. He attended college for about two years but did not earn a degree, he said.

As part of his plea agreement with prosecutors, seven charges against Demink were dropped.

In one case, Demink started online chats with an Oregon woman about the sexual development of her 8-year-old autistic son, according to the plea agreement. He told her to engage in sexually explicit conduct with her son as a way to teach him about sex, prosecutors say, and she did so while Demink watched on a web camera.

"Demink intimated to these women that the result of the therapy would be healthier children," the document said.

Federal agents were tipped off to his operation by the Teton County Sheriff's Office in Idaho, said Khaalid Walls, a spokesman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Office of Homeland Security Investigations. The mother of a woman who had been chatting with him called sheriff's officials in late 2009.

A Teton County Sheriff's Office report from December 2009 said the Idaho woman met "Daltonst28" on an online dating site called singleparentmeet.com. She told police she performed sex acts on her young son as directed by her online male friend.

The woman's mother, Eileen Schwab of Idaho, said she knows little of how Demink convinced her daughter to follow his orders. She said her daughter was "depressed and lonesome" after her divorce.

"I don't know how he wrangled her in," Schwab said. "She could have turned off the computer and gone the other way. He must have had a power over her."

Her daughter pleaded guilty last May to lewd conduct with a child under 16 and is currently in prison.

Another mother who was arrested was from New Hampshire and pleaded guilty in December to producing child pornography, which carries a possible sentenced of 15 to 30 years in prison. She is scheduled to be sentenced in March. The Associated Press left a message seeking comment from Larry Dash, a federal defender representing her.

A woman from Lee County, Fla., also has pleaded not guilty to five counts and was being held without bond in Florida. She faces a May trial in federal court in Fort Myers, federal defender Martin DerOvanesian said.

Prosecutors say Demink also is linked to four other mothers in Indiana, Georgia, Illinois and Oregon but has not been charged with crimes related to those communications. Assistant U.S. Attorney Kevin Mulcahy said those cases can be considered during sentencing.

The Associated Press is not naming the women to protect the identity of the children. The AP generally does not identify victims of sexual abuse.

Demink's attorney, Timothy Dinan, said his client "has expressed a lot of remorse" for what he did and has taken responsibility by pleading guilty. Dinan said Demink's parents, who declined to be interviewed, are praying for their son as well as the victims and their families.

"It's a shame he couldn't ask for help," Dinan said.

---

Associated Press writer Corey Williams contributed to this story.

A service of YellowBrix, Inc. .

The secret to Happiness...

Happy people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they simply make the BEST of everything they have!

Are you making the Best of everything you have? You know the saying? "Happiness is relative." I believe that life is just too short NOT to be happy. Even when it hurts like hell, find your ray of sunshine, your silver lining and hold on for dear life until the storm passes. Because it will!

We have all endured life's many turbulent ups and downs, but as the late, great Ms. Lena Horne once said, "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." When going through difficult times, it is important to hold you head up high and carry your load with dignity. Believe that things will get better ~ they always do!

My experiences have taught me quite a few things about life and happiness. Live today as if it were your last. Dance like no one is watching, sing out loud in your car (something I do quite often) and love like it will last forever!

The secret to Happiness is to count your Blessings while others add up their problems. Love yourself (that is not always easy, but never stop trying). You are the only one responsible for your own happiness and no one can take that away from you! Just My Two Cents...